but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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