I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
