Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
