Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
