dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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