I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
