I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
