I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
