we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
