Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
