Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
