I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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