I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
