There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize