Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
