How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
barbara walters just said penis...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
