HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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