Just fell off a train. Bad.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm passing your future prison.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
