Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
