just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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