I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
