Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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