If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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