5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
where are you?
Hypothermia
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
