I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize