whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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