My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
