Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
