My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
