I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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