Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
