he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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