did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
handjob tips. give me some.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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