I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize