Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
