he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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