Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
