I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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