his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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