4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize