you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
