hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize