Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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