Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
