I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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