Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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