At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
