What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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