even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
