I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
