He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
