well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
