Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
