school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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