Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
