i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
