You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
