You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
