I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
