Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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