You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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