So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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