i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
