Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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