TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
