I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
