she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
