yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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