Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
