At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
