I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he just fucked me for my cheese.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
